by EJ Brennan, Brennan Thomsen Associates Inc. and Economic Research Institute
Originally appeared in Personnel Journal, July 1981
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED Made no major blunders yet
ACTIVE SOCIALLY Drinks alot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY Spouse drinks, too
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH Still one step ahead of the law
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE Opinionated
QUICK THINKING Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER Won’t make a decision
TAKES PRIDE IN WORK Conceited
PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT Buys drinks for all the boys
FORCEFUL Argumentative
AGGRESSIVE Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS Gets someone else to do it
A KEEN ANALYST Thoroughly confused
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL Speaks English
CONSCIENTIOUS Scared
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR Knows a lot of dirty jokes
STRONG PRINCIPLES Stubborn
CAREER MINDED Back Stabber
COMING ALONG WELL About to be let go
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION Gets to work on time
RELAXED ATTITUDE Sleeps at desk
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY Too ugly to get a date
INDEPENDENT WORKER Nobody knows what he/she does
FORWARD THINKING Procrastinator
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS Spends lots of time on phone
LOYAL Can’t get a job anywhere else