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- On stag night, you take a real deer.
- You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.
- Your back porch is bigger than your house.
- There is more oil in your cap than in your car.
- You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
- A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
- An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
- You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother’s tooth.
- You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
- Your secret family recipe is illegal.