Things You Know From TV

1. Two persons never share the same name. There are plenty of names to go around for everybody, even if it means you have to assume a name like Dharma, Baby, Clark, or Chandler.

2. If you’re really good at martial arts, one single kick can hit your opponent four or five times.

3. If a police car is in sight, you should move away quickly, because it will be blown to pieces or crash.

4. Police officers in uniform are disposable items.

5. If you find yourself in a critical situation, Plan A never works. However, the least likely to work Plan E or Plan F, will work.

6. If you should face an army with trained soldiers, don’t worry. They are all very bad shots, and will make visible easy targets with no intention to seek cover.

7. If you are the first one in your party being chased by something/someone evil, you are likely to bite the dust. If, in this case, you are a girl, you will fall over at least once. If you are a guy you will stand up to the enemy, and die even faster. If, on the other hand, you have turned the tables around and are chasing the enemy, you will succeed and become a hero.

8. Ball games are always decided in the last second. Your team always wins.

9. It is perfectly acceptable to kill hundreds of people to save one single life.

10. Dogs are very lucky animals. There is always someone willing to risk their life to save a cute dog.

11. English really is the universal language. All alien life forms with enough intelligence to communicate understand English.

12. When eating a meal, you must always leave one side of the table open, even if it means you have to cram the rest of the party together like a pack of sardines in a can.

13. All school classes always start with the ring of the bell, and they all finish at the exact same time at the sound of the bell. School hallways are emptied and filled within the matter of seconds.

14. If you’re considering becoming an undercover cop, maybe you should reconsider your career choice. The bad guys just won’t let you do you job. Instead, they’ll be giving you the guilt trip of your life when you try to put them behind bars, and the leader will probably get away with or without your help. But on the other hand, you will hook up with a beautiful, innocent friend of the gang.

15. It’s perfectly normal, and makes perfect sense to order a drink in a bar, and then just leave.

16. Animals with a brain the size of a peanut are not as stupid as they may seem. Not only do they want to eat you, they also want personal revenge for lost family members, completely humiliate you, and if possible tax reduction.

17. Bad things usually happen at night. Daylight is the ultimate solution to evil.

18. Children need to work on their credibility. They see and hear the darnest things, yet grown-ups never believe them.

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