Something For Every Day

SUNDAY:
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

MONDAY:
Dance like nobody is watching and love like it’s never gonna hurt.

TUESDAY:
There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced.

Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

WEDNESDAY:
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

THURSDAY:
A Jury, 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

FRIDAY:
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

SATURDAY:
As you slide down the banister of life, may their be no splinters pointing the wrong way.