Men say one thing, but their mind is operating in entirely another direction. Here’s what guys say, but what they really mean.
Men Say |
What It Really Means |
It’s a guy thing. | There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. |
Sure, honey, or Yes, dear. | Absolutely nothing. It is a conditioned response like Pavlov’s dog drooling. |
My wife doesn’t understand me. | She’s heard all my stories before, and is tired of them. |
It would take too long to explain. | I have no idea how it works. |
I’m getting more exercise lately. | The batteries in the remote are dead. |
Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard. | I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. |
That’s interesting, dear. | Are you still talking? |
You expect too much of me. | You want me to stay awake. |
That’s women’s work. | It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless. |
Will you marry me? | Both my roommates have moved out, I can’t find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter. |
I do help around the house. | I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket. |
I can’t find it. | It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless. |
What did I do this time? | What did you catch me at? |
She’s one of those rabid feminists. | She refused to make my coffee. |
I’m going to stop off for a quick one with the guys. | I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest-pounding, mouth-breathing, pre-evolutionary companions. |
You know I could never love anyone else. | I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse. |
You look terrific. | Oh, please, don’t try on one more outfit. I am starving. |
I missed you. | I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper. |
I am not lost. I know exactly where we are. | No one will ever see us alive again. |
We share the housework. | I make the messes, she cleans them up. |
This relationship is getting too serious. | I like you more than my truck. |
I recycle. | We could pay the rent with the money from my empties. |
I don’t need to read the instructions. | I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help. |
I broke up with her. | She dumped me. |