Wal-Mart announces house brand wine

Wal-Mart announced today that they’ll soon be offering customers yet another new discount item, their own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California to produce their spirits at an affordable price.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but “there is strong market demand for cheap wine“, said Jane Weldon, professor of Wal-Mart’s marketing division. “However,” she added “Choosing the right names are important for building brandability and loyalty.”

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive names for the Wal-Mart house brand wines. The top surveyed names in, order of popularity, include:

  • Chateau Traileur Parc
  • White Trashfindel
  • Peanut Noir
  • I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!
  • Grape Expectations
  • Nasti Spumante
  • Big Red Gulp
  • World Championship Riesling
  • NASCARbernet
  • Chef Boyardeaux

Pricing is expected to be in the $3-5 range and will be offered in the box and bottle. If production goes smoothly, expect to find Wal-Mart’s self-branded wine on the shelves sometime next never.

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