16 Using their e-mail address, post a request for penpals to the alt.prison.bodypiercing newsgroup.
15 Three words: electric mouse buzzer.
14 Assign them to the new “Heaven’s Gate” project.
13 “Look, Bill Gates!! Ha! Made ya look!”
12 Put them in the same room with a member of the opposite sex.
11 “Have you got Prince Albert in a LAN?”
10 Tell them that “everyone knows Star Trek transporter technology is bogus.”
9 10 GOTO 10
7 Swap their monitor for a large cardboard box with handpuppets. Watch the fur fly!
6 Announce that annual raises will be based on a subjective test of one’s ability to “schmooze the way the butt-kissers in Marketing do.”
8 Intercept their daily Top 10 List, then remove #8 and re-insert it between #5 and #6.
5 Pretend to “discover” a Fox TV Web site with a now-out-of-date win a weekend with Gillian Anderson of X-Files contest.
4 Every hour, on the hour, forward them a warning about the “Good Times” virus.
3 Call her up and ask if her program is running, and when she says “yes,” tell her “Well you better go catch it!”
2 Replace all the Jolt in the soda machine with Perrier and V8. and the Number 1 April Fool’s Day Prank to Pull on Programmers…
1 Special announcement: “Forget Java — Starting immediately, all coding will be done in COBOL.”