Futurama quotes – Part 4

Bender: “One of you will have to fill in for me while I’m gone.”
Professor Farnsworth: “Better yet, I’ll build someone to fill in for you.
Some kind of gamma-powered mechanical monsters with
freeway on-ramps for arms and a heart as black as coal…”

The boss: “Get a load of ball bearings on this guy.”

Bender: “You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good
high-quality oil, then eat it.”

Leela: “Where were you at 10pm last night?”
Professor Farnsworth: “Where am I now?”

Bender: “Tell the Donbot I’m quitting organized crime. From now on I’ll stick
to the regular kind.”

Bender: “Hey, guess what you’re accessories to?”

Bender: “Like most of life’s problems, this one can be solved with bending.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Look at me! I’m Dr. Zoidberg, home-owner!”

Bender: “Argh. The laws of science be a harsh mistress.”

Professor Farnsworth: “He may have ocean madness, but that’s no excuse for
ocean rudeness.”

Fry: “You know what I like best about you, Umbrielle? You find me
fascinating, even when I’m not claiming to be a jewel thief
or a lion tamer.”

Hermes: “The poor demented honky.”

Bender: “In the event of an emergency, my ass can be used as a floatation

Fry: “Hey, you guys, the most amazing thing happened, it’s two-for-one
Tuesday at Krispy Kreme! Plus there’s mermaids.”

Hermes: “I miss my wife and my oxygen.”
Professor Farnsworth: “Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases.”

Amy: “What about Umbrielle?”
Fry: “Well, it turned out I loved her, but I wasn’t in love with her.”
Amy: “Trouble in bed.”

Hermes: “Hail, Atlanta.”

Professor: “Good news, everyone, the university is bringing me up on
disclipinary charges. Wait, that’s not good news at all.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “Now I’m not saying Professor Farnsworth is old, but if you
consider his age he’s likely to die soon.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “A successor to the professor?”

Hermes: “Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams

Bender: “Is he dumb or just ugly?”

Professor: “If a dog craps anywhere in the universe, you can bet I won’t be
out of loop.”

Professor: “Oh, vanity, thy name is Professor Farnsworth.”

Cubert: “Robots are very good at keeping secrets.”
Bender: “No, we’re not, you little bed-wetter. Oops, I’m sorry.”

Leela: “There it is, the near-death star.”

Cubert: “Why do I have to be the hump?”
Fry: “‘Cause you’re too ugly to be a wart.”

Leela: “We’ve blown out one of our engines.”
Fry: “Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it… fix it, fix it, fix

Professor: “Good news, everyone. Several years ago I tried to log onto AOL, and
it just went through. Whee! We’re online.”

Fry: “Well, thanks to the internet I’m now bored with sex. Is ther a place
on the web that panders to my lust for violence?”
Bender: “Is the space-pope reptilian?”

Computer: “Leela, you’ve got mail. It’s not spam!”

Leela: “Are you real, or am I seeing single?”
Alcazar: “Ow. Of course I’m real.”
Leela: “After all this time, somebody else with one eye who isn’t a clumsy
carpenter or a kid with a BB gun.”

Alcazar: “I hope you don’t think less of me becuase I live in a giant

Leela: “He’s crude and gross and he treats me like a slave.”
Fry: “Then dump his one-eyed ass.”

Alcazar: “Leela, this must all be very confusing.”
Leela: “A little. That’s why I’ve decided to hurt you until you explain it.”

Leela: “If you could change form, why didn’t you change it in the one place
that counts?”

Fry: “Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn’t her’s, it was
her dad’s. Actually, she wasn’t my girlfriend, she just lived next door and
never closed her curtains.”
Leela: “Fry, remember what I told you about always ending your stories a
sentence earlier?”

Bender: “Aw, I think I got whiplash.”
Leela: “You can’t have whiplash, you don’t have a neck.”
Bender: “I meant ass whiplash.”

Dr. Zoidberg: “It funny because it’s poisonous.”
Fry: “Yeah, keep laughing, brine shrimp.”

Fry: “I’m not prejudiced.”
Bender: “Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf.”

Bob Barker: “Which one of these lovely womanoids will take home atomic tiara?”

Bob Barker: “I may be against the fur industry, but that won’t stop me from
skinning you alive… as long as no one wears the skin.”
Fry: “How can I live my life if I can’t tell good from evil?”
Bender: “Ah, they’re both fine choices, whatever floats your boat.”

“Are you all right?” -Leela
“Ah, it’s nothing a a law suit won’t cure.” -Bender

“Aw, poor baby, chipped a fang.” -Leela
“Hey, I got a busted ass here! I don’t see anyone kissing it.” -Bender
“All right, I’m coming.” -Zoidberg

“Just make a simple cake. And this time, if someone’s going to jump out of
it, make sure to put them in after you cook it.”

“And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who’s gone to a place
where I too hope one day to go: the toilet.”
-Prof. Farnsworth

“Hey, you know what’d cheer you up? You should get yourself a puppy.” -Amy
“A puppy? Nibbler loved to eat puppies….” -Leela

“I love every living creature.” -Leela
“Even me?” -Fry
“As a friend.” -Leela

“Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh.” -Fry
“Well, it’s a Fox affiliate.” -TV worker guy
“What are you showing right now?” -Fry
“‘Single Female Lawyer.’ It’s the season finale. Wanna watch?” -TV worker
“I dunno. That’s a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre, World’s
Blankiest Blank.” -Fry
“She is wearing the world’s shortiest skirt.” -TV worker guy
“I’m in.” -Fry

“Oh my god, you knocked Fox off the air!” -TV worker guy
“Like anyone on earth cares.” -Fry

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