Famous Simpsons quotes on religion

15. Don’t worry, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year. -God

14. Oh, everything’s too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody’s a sinner! Except this guy. – Homer

13. Suppose we’ve chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we’re just making him madder and madder. – Homer

12. I was at Bible camp, learning how to be more judgemental. – Maude

11. Don’t worry, son. I’m sure he’s up in heaven right now laughing it up with all the other celebrities: John Dilinger, Ty Cobb, Joseph Stalin. – Homer

10. Todd: Daddy, the heathen’s getting away! -Ned: I see him, son. I see him…

9. If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls’ sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such. – Homer

8. Seen on Christian school sign: We put the Fun back in Fundementalist Dogma!

7. Bart: Wow! God is so in your face. Homer: Yea, he’s my favorite fictional character.

6. Hey, since when is Christmas just about the presents? Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day? The birth of Santa? – Bart

5. Save me, Jeebus! – Homer

4. Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. – Bart

3. Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion. – Superintendent Chalmers

2. Stealing! How could you? Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? – Homer

1. Homer: Oh, Lord! Why do You mock me? (looking up at ceiling). Marge: Homer, that’s not God. That’s a waffle Bart stuck to the ceiling. (Marge pries the waffle off the ceiling). Homer: Lord, I know I shouldn’t eat Thee, but… (munch munch munch) mmmm…sacrelicious.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.