Hawaii

A blonde called in inquiring about a travel package to Hawaii. The agent explained their limited travel range. After going over all the agent’s information, she asked, “Well, could I fly to California, and THEN take your train to Hawaii?”

Game of Intelligence

A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.

The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”

The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

Drivers Licence

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

Only Three Doors

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

New Prefix

If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix ‘bim’ could be used to create new words that describe them:

Bimbabble – noises coming from a group of blondes
Bimbaffled – constant mental state of blondes
Bimbait – short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males
Bimbar – a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait
Bimbag – a blonde’s purse
Bimbrushes – essential equipment in a bimbag
Bimbastic surgeon – specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbeeper – special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes
Bimbellow – sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard
Bimbillion? – a blonde giving an estimate of anything
Bimblaze – the result of a blonde trying to cook
Bimblues – a blonde’s state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her
Bimboette – a young blonde
Bimbonese – language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else
Bimbonique behavior – airhead behavior, unique to blondes
Bimboozle – to fool a blonde
Bimbore – a blonde who uses “like” more than 10 times in a sentence
Bimbozo – another name for a blonde
Bimboron – a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes
Bimbrownie – a well-tanned blonde
Bimbrunette – a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is
Bimburden – blonde carrying too many bags at the mall

Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”