Space Monkeys

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space.

As the moment came closer NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!” At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle’s engines ignited and the shuttle took off.

Two hours later NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!” At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks.

Another two hours later mission control announced, “This is mission control to the astronaut…” At this the astronaut responded “I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don’t touch anything.”

Expensive Monkeys

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.”

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash and handed it to the customer, saying “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey! Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?”

The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program in C — very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money.”

The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. “That one’s even more expensive — $10,000! What does it do?”

“Oh, that one’s a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff,” said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, “That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?”

Scratching his head, the shopkeeper replied, “Well, I haven’t actually seen it do anything, but the other two monkeys call him BOSS.”