10 Things Your Man Wants You to Know

  1. Never cut your hair.  Ever.  It only causes arguments when I comment on it.
  2. Wear anything you want.  It is fine.  Really.
  3. If you want some dessert after a meal, please order some.  You don’t have to finish it.  I order mine because I would like to eat it myself.
  4. Shopping is not a sport for me.  Please don’t make me go.
  5. What makes you think I’d be any good at choosing which, out of thirty-seven pairs of shoes, would look good with that dress?  Most men only own two or three pairs of shoes, some of which actually match.
  6. I am sure you have plenty to catch up with that school chum from 20 years ago that we have just met right here in the fish market, but it’s been two hours now…
  7. Pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range.  We’re bound to miss sometimes.
  8. They’re called foreign films because that is what they are.  Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
  9. Please learn to check your oil.  That’s the long stick thing you pull it out.  Oil is an essential part of the car.
  10. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay.

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