Gender Dictionary

1. Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food,sex and beer.

2. Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

3. Butt (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
male: The organ used for mooning and holding a tool belt on.

4. Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.

5. Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

6. Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
male: An endless source of enterainment, self-expression and male bonding.

7. Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

8. Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.
female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

9. Making love (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: What men have to call “boinking” to get women to boink.

10. Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

11. Taste (tayst) v.
female: Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

12. Thingie (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car’s hood.
male: The strapfastener on a woman’s bra.

13. Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.

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