Famous quotes by Homer Simpson

  • “Let us all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”
  • “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
  • “And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power,
    the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which
    is just a pipe dream.”  
  • “Because sometimes the only way you can feel good Simpsons
    brain about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m
    tired of making other people feel good about themselves!”
  • “Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never
    die.”
  • “I want to share something with you: The three little sentences
    that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2:
    Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
  • “Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn’t get
    to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn’t get to go to college.”
  • “Don’t you ever, EVER talk that way about television.”
  • “Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong.
    Even though they say it’s okay in the bible.”
  • “No matter how good you are at something, there’s always
    about a million people better than you.”
  • “Marge, there’s an empty spot I’ve always had inside me.
    I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but
    those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.”
  • “I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So
    why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to
    Hell?”
  • “When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking
    monsters always want’n more… more… MORE! And if you give it
    to them, you’ll get plenty back in return.”
  • “If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who
    can’t speak English.”
  • “Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad
    people.”
  • “Marge, I’m going to miss you so much. And it’s not just
    the sex. It’s also the food preparation.”
  • “Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!”
  • “Marge, I agree with you — in theory. In theory, communism
    works. Intheory.”
  • “You think I don’t want to? It’s those TV networks, Marge:
    they won’t let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher
    and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just
    gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won’t! They won’t
    let me live!”
  • “Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”
  • “I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want
    to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone.
    I want to visit strange, exotic malls…I want to live, Marge! Won’t
    you let me live_?”
  • “I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know
    there is — and it’s me.”
  • “Lisa honey, are you saying you’re never going to eat any
    animal again? What about bacon?”
  • “All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and
    there was no meat, I would say ‘Yo Goober! Where’s the meat!?’.
    I’m trying to impress people here Lisa. You don’t win friends with
    salad.”
  • ”To Start Press Any Key”. Where’s the ANY key?
  • “You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once,
    and move on.”
  • “Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for daddies
    and kids with fake IDs.”
  • “English – Who needs that? I’m never going to England!”
  • “I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills.
    Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!”
  • “Go ahead and play the blues if it’ll make you happy.”
  • “I have feelings too – like ”My stomach hurts” or ”I’m
    going crazy!”

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